Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Almost Heaven

I have dreamt of visiting the bustling city of London and the rolling pastures of Dublin ever since I was a little girl.  Book after book I've read, transporting me to faraway places that seem so much grander than my home nestled in the West Virginia hills.  This state is my home, generations of my family hailing from the deep “hollers” of Logan and Wayne Counties; but part of me believes I’m not meant to stay here.  This part of me knows that my childhood dreams of England and Ireland will someday be realized.  Little did I know, however, that before I could branch out to these faraway places, my roots must grow stronger in this intimate place of Almost Heaven, West Virginia.    

Deep in the heart of my lovely state stands a town where time has stopped and melancholy memories drift down from the mountaintops.  Lonesome train whistles echo off the mountain passageway as the Shay locomotive rolls down the tracks.  Years after the actual operation of the railroad has ceased, the town of Cass still clatters with excitement as the Iron Horse grinds into the station.  Here, in a town frozen in time, my family spent our summer vacation – not the normal choice of ocean-side views, but one of rolling hills and quaint little towns.  What I would soon realize is the town of Cass and our other excursion sites through West Virginia held stories they needed to tell me.  A bright, summer sun glinted off the coal-coated black train engine, casting murky shadows on our upturned faces.  Tickets in hand, my mother, father, sister, and I boarded the locomotive with anticipation.  All of the covered cars quickly became crowded, so we made our way to the open car beneath the smokestack spitting out layers of speckled coal dust.  I located an empty bench, my family following suit.  A sharp whistle rang from the train, and with chugs and puffs, the steam engine hauled her passengers away from the station on the same track where she hauled tons of timber thousands of times in the years gone by. 

No more than five minutes after pulling away from the station, the tracks to the side of the main line were scattered with broken locomotives, only shells of what they once were.  Seeing the bodies of the Iron Workhorses which transported tons of timber from the mountains to pulp mills forced me to realize how much times have changed.  My ancestors depended on these trains to maintain their lifestyles; today they are simply a scenic destination for tourists.  Life existed in a simpler form then and the nostalgic graveyard of antique trains made me long to be a part of it.  The history of the place stirred a hidden feeling in my heart, calling me home in sepia tones.  A heartbreakingly haunting train whistle hung in the air as we passed, our steam engine paying homage to her fallen comrades. 

Further down the tracks as the slope began to rise, the silhouettes of the company houses came into view.  Blackened with coal soot, the white houses slumped under some hidden weight.  All across West Virginia, families of coal miners and loggers lived in homes identical to the ones standing before me.  The heartbeat which kept West Virginia alive dwelled here.  It occurred to me that coal mining and logging weren’t only occupations, but ways of life.  They were the industries that built and shaped this state – and the people in it.  These coal-blackened company houses represented the hardworking, unbreakable men and women who resided in them, standing strong despite numerous adversities.  My heritage is wound and threaded in humble abodes quite like these.  The houses caked with coal dust seemed to stand much straighter and gleam much whiter, embracing the qualities of perseverance and determination they embodied. 


As civilization faded into the distance, the train slowly ground her way up the mountain.  Lush trees provided shade the majority of the time, specks of sunlight dancing through their green leaves.  Black coal dust pirouetted from the hiccupping smokestack, littering the treetops and train cars like forgotten snowflakes.  I dozed as the birds composed a sweet lullaby with the rhythmic cadence of the industrial steel wheels of the train.  A feeling of peace that I hadn’t felt in a long time enveloped me as the scenery of the summertime hills drifted by the train.  The higher we climbed, the more I knew my lungs would always yearn for crisp mountain air.

Finally, after hours on the train spent daydreaming and reminiscing, our Shay locomotive reached Bald Knob, the final stop at the top of the mountain.  Here the tracks ended.  All of the weary passengers unloaded onto the cool stretch of grass, wanting nothing more than a bathroom and food, but what we saw when we stepped off the train took our breath away.  For miles in every direction, hills and valleys cascaded into a work of art only God could create. Shadows bounced and played over the landscape of farmland and forests, content to tease the shimmering sunshine and soaring clouds.  The varying hues in the landscape below looked strikingly similar to the patchwork quilt my great-grandmother hand-stitched, each square a special piece of clothing from every member of the family.  On cold winter nights, it is under this quilt I find comfort and security.  The view stretched out before me shifted suddenly; no longer did I see mountains and farmland, but a colorful patchwork quilt draped across a bed frame.

You will run for home when your heart is broken, when you long for familiarity, and when you are simply tired of saying goodbyes.  Without a home, you become a hopeless wanderer.  For the longest time, West Virginia was simply a place where I’d grown up.  Now, as I prepare to leave it for the first time, I realize this place, these hills, and the people here have found their way deep into my heart.  With lightning bugs twinkling off the silhouettes of trees and the fiery mountainsides in autumn, I have seen more beauty in my backyard than some see in a lifetime.  The hills are my comforting blanket – they have seen me broken, triumphant, and torn; they have rejoiced with me and they have cried with me.  My roots are now so deep into the mountains’ soil that no matter where I may roam, I will always return to Almost Heaven.   

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Through Painted Deserts


Recently, I finished Donald Miller’s Through Painted Deserts.  I would highly recommend this book to anyone – and just saying, I wish I could write like him.  Anyway, in reading this book, I discovered a few parallels in what God is and what He created. 
On the first day of creation, God spoke light into existence.  All he did was say “Let there be light,” and there was light.  He saw that it was good. (He created it, so how could it not be good?)  I know I put this quote on Facebook just a few days ago, but it is the basis for how I came to see things a bit differently.  Donald Miller writes: "Consider the complexity of light in light of the Hebrew metaphor: we don't see light; we see what it touches. It is more or less invisible, made from nothing, just purposes and focused energy, infinite in its power...How fitting, then, for God to create an existence, then a metaphor, as if to say, here is something entirely unlike you, outside of time, infinite in its power and thrust: here is something you can experience but cannot understand. Throughout the remainder of the Bible, then, God calls Himself light."  He is exactly right here.  Light, as scientists define it, is not really matter or waves, but somewhere in between.   Through centuries of study, scientists cannot fully explain the phenomenon of light; yet, even with its unexplainable properties, light is the sole purpose by which we see everything.  Without it, we would be lost in total darkness.  Its importance can only be magnified in the fact that it was the first thing God created.  He did not need it, but He knew that humans would come to depend fiercely on it.  So is the same with our Creator.  We cannot fully understand Him or explain His omnipotence, but we realize He is the Light by which we see everything else.
The second parallel I noticed was love.  Here is another phenomenon, if you wish to call it that, that we cannot fully explain. Some scientists say the feeling we experience as love is triggered by a series of chemicals in the brain.  These chemicals start a chain reaction when we see someone or something that triggers their release.  The mystery is why people experience the feeling of love to different objects or people.  Perhaps it is our genetic makeup or certain environmental factors, but the fact of the matter is, love is the driving force behind the majority of our actions. For Jesus, it was the sole purpose He gave His life for His people.  Several times, the Bible states God is Love.  He is the embodiment of the feeling every human so intensely craves.  We go through this life looking for love, which we usually find in the form of lust and sin.  What we so often miss is that our one true Love is longing for our hearts and souls in a way that cannot be explained.  All the chemicals in our brain and DNA are trying to point us to Love, if we would only bother to look in the right direction. 
Another paradox I believe God intentionally created was the sensation of beauty.  Here is yet another thing we cannot comprehend. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I think that’s true.  For me, beauty can be found in an infinite number of places in this universe.  Some people claim true beauty is a sunset on the horizon of ocean waves.  Others may say it is the fiery treetops of West Virginia in the fall.  A baby’s innocent laugh or a pure smile is beautiful.  Regardless of what the beholder deems beautiful, I believe God created the feeling of beauty solely to bring glory to Him.  I don’t know about you, but when I marvel at the starlight in a summer sky, God is in that beauty.  Everything beautiful is touched by His fingertips, and you can feel that in a breathtakingly stunning moment.  He created beauty so we can simply relish His perfection.
There are so many other feelings and sensations that I believe God created to eloquently display His wisdom and grace, to make us feel His presence in each of them – feelings of peace, hope, joy, happiness, and faith.  I’m not a theologian so I can’t claim that any of these statements are correct, but I feel deep in my heart that my God knew what He was doing when He spoke light into existence.  Everything is so perfectly mapped out and planned that it’s almost impossible to ignore Him in Love, Light, and Beauty.  In so many ways we as humans have twisted these feelings into worldly and selfish desires.  I wish we all could take a step back and ask why they were created in the beginning instead of how we can reach them.  If we do this, hopefully we can find our way through all the muck and mire to the true definition of Love and Light.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Greater Love

As everyone knows, Thursday was Valentine's Day.  Personally, I hate the holiday and think it is ridiculous.  My thoughts are, if you can't show someone you love them the other 364 days of the year, why change for one day?  That being said, I have a challenge for you.

I want you to make a list of the people you love - the people you would literally do anything for...the people you would lay down your life for.  When I say that, I don't mean it metaphorically.  I want you to write down the people who, if there was bullet coming towards them, you would jump in front of it without hesitation.

Now, make a list of the people you know love you, who would die for you.  Which list is shorter?

For me, the people I would die for is much longer than the ones I know would die for me.  Perhaps it's because we don't express how much we love someone enough.  But I think it's more because people, especially myself, have a hard time accepting love freely because we don't think we deserve it.  We think we are so broken and ruined that we can't possibly be loved.  We really do accept the love we think we deserve. 

But love is the sole reason Jesus died for us.  His profound Love is what saves us from an eternity of suffering.  He showed us the extent His love in giving us everything He had, including His life.  He even says, "Greater Love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)  It's true that we don't deserve anyone's Love, especially His, but if the Creator and Sustainer of all things still loves us, even with our failures and sins, it's okay to let other people love you.  And it's even better to love others without exception.  Because true love is knowing all a persons fears and failures, yet still loving them.  Jesus showed us that quite plainly.

So for every day of the year, even Valentine's Day, let Love rule. The Bible says,  "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."  I guess I'm trying to say is above all else, love unconditionally.  It is what humans long for the most because we are nothing without love. 

Friday, November 30, 2012

Star Breather

Have you ever sat outside and watched the night fall?  Have you ever watched the stars slowly appear in the sky like they were breathed from a thin wisp of smoke? Have you ever seen the moon journey over the treetops, going nowhere in particular?  Have you ever wandered through the lonely winter sky, breathing in the cool, crisp air?  Have you sat outside and simply marveled at the beauty and splendor of God and His Creation? 

It is in those times that God shows Himself to me.  Those times where I lay outside under the winter sky beneath a full moon in total silence, God speaks the loudest.  His voice is but a whisper on the winter's evening, but I can feel Him, I can breathe Him in.  My heart beats slower, overflowing with love, as I can literally feel God's wonderful embrace.  The Star Breather and the Kings of Kings sits with me as I gaze at His vast Creation, and the millions of stars that He knows by name.  Simply, it is breathtaking. 

Honestly though, I'm not sure which is more breathtaking - the vastness of God's creation on display to worship Him or the fact that out of all the beauty and glory and perfection, God still chooses to love me - a tiny, insignificant speck on a small blue dot surrounded by millions of glorious stars...

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Birthday Wishes

Hey all.  I know it has been forever since I've posted anything, and I am terribly sorry. I honestly haven't written anything since the beginning of soccer season, but I'm finally able to be a part of the real world again.  To start off, I want to thank everyone for the support you've always given me.  Anything I've ever needed or asked for, there has been someone providing for me, and more importantly, praying for me.  I love you all so much and could never ask for a better group of friends.  I know that was sort of random, but I feel like I don't thank you or tell you I love you enough.

Now I have a favor to ask of all of you.  For my birthday last year, I asked for money to give to SweetSleep, an organization that provides beds and mosquito netting for families in Africa.  Through your support, I was able to give $500 to help the families in one village in Africa.  I could never thank you enough.  This year, my sister Abby and I are double-teaming to try and raise even more money for our birthdays (Abby's is on November 5th and mine is November 13) in order to provide help to those in need.  Our goal is to raise $1,000 for Amazima, which supplies food, clothes, and other much needed things to people in Uganda.  This organization was founded by Katie Davis, who now lives in Uganda.  She is constantly loving  children and mothers of this region; she has shown many hearts the way to Jesus just by loving them.  We want to give money to support Katie and her cause because she has connected with people so different from herself, and she has loved them UNCONDITIONALLY.  If we could all do that, we would be fulling God's call for the Great Commission.  The world would change completely. So this year, Abby and I sincerely ask you to help us change the world - this time with double the birthday wishes.

Here is a link to Katie's blog if you would like to read stories from her life in Uganda :) - http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Endless Summer

"That's what it's like when you're following summer around the world, trying to find a place to surf." -Bruce Brown, The Endless Summer

I'm not sure if time moves faster or slower at the ocean, but something changes when your bare feet hit the sand. The stars are a different kind of bright. The waves lapping against the shore are a gentle lullaby that sings you to sleep. The sea breeze clarifies your thinking process. The salt water washes away all worries and heartbreak. The summer sun smiles on your carefree skin. When you're standing on the edge of the world, you live life in technicolor.  The beach is the epitome of summer: what it tastes like, what it smells like. 

But nothing gold can stay. The sun will eventually set on our summers. The thing about life is we have to seize those summers. Try to make them endless. We have to shake the sand out of our shoes as long as we can. Eat ice cream in the pouring rain. Catch fireflies on a moonlit night. Take long walks on the beach under a starry sky. Enjoy the simple things, like sea turtles, a good book, and a cup of coffee. 

In his documentary, Bruce Brown said with enough time and money, you could spend the rest of your life chasing summer around the world. But you don't have to chase it; with enough dreams, hopes, and laughs you can make enough memories to keep summer in your pocket.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Goodbye

I hate goodbyes.  Soon, I will have to say goodbye to two very influential people in my life.  I have already said goodbye to two others.  It's difficult to say these goodbyes.  Life is full of goodbyes, and nearly every tear we shed is because of them.  Goodbyes are the embodiment of our fears.  We are afraid of being alone, saying the wrong things, changing.  Oh, how change terrifies us, but we must embrace it like we embrace those we love.   Nothing can last forever.   

I don't know all the answers or what the futures holds, but I know who holds the future. That is what makes goodbyes bearable. If I didn't have the hands of the Lord holding mine when I say goodbyes, I would crumble. The pain of saying goodbye only lasts for so long, but His love and plans last forever.   

We must realize that they are necessary because without goodbyes, there would never be hope of seeing someone again.  Without goodbyes, there could never be hellos.  Without goodbyes, there could never be reflection.  If the sun never said goodbye to the horizon, there could never be a new day.  If a baby bird never said goodbye to its nest, it would never learn to fly.

So for now aloha, auf Wiedersehen, bon soir, sayonara, and all those good bye things.