Friday, September 5, 2014

Hello Again

Wow, I didn't realize how long it has been since I last wrote.  Since my last post, I have traveled to Europe, graduated high school, and started college.  These are all huge milestones that haven't fully sunk in for me yet.

I have learned quite a bit though.

First and foremost, I loved Europe an inexplicable amount.  Most of you probably know that I've been dying to travel to London for a long time.  It was everything I'd dreamt it would be. In just ten days in Europe, I tried more things than I have in my entire life.  There was my first experience riding the tube - basically picture a can of sardines.  I ate snails, which was great with all the garlic and butter.  I rode on a night train; contrary to popular belief, it was NOTHING like the Hogwarts Express.  I learned and spoke and heard a cacophony of different languages, which was fun until I didn't know how to order a cheeseburger and people yelled at me.  I was cleansed by a hippie at Stonehenge.  I spent Easter morning on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea.  Through all of this, I saw an inkling of how diverse and beautiful the world is.  Even in London, where we spoke the same language, the people were so different than they are here - I am not saying they were better or worse, just different.  In France and Spain, it was so strange to hear people speak and not know what they were saying.  It was beautiful and terrifying and eye-opening.  The new experience, different cultures, and foreign languages made me feel alive, like I'm not the most important thing in the world. Everyone has stories to tell; my brief ten days in Europe taught me I want to listen to them for the rest of my life.

I read Paper Towns right before gradation, which was fitting.  The main character, Q, makes the point that leaving somewhere is exhilarating and sad and terrifying only if that place mattered.  High school was difficult, and part of me was completely ecstatic to be leaving it behind...but another part of me knew that things would be different from then on.  Leaving high school meant that I would no longer be surrounded by faces and thoughts very similar to mine; much like Europe, going to college bombarded me with new ideas and perspectives on the world.  High school was a cocoon of safety (mostly) - I was a big fish in a small pond.  With adulthood lingering above me and college surrounding me, I realize that I am a very very small fish in a massive pond.  There is nothing wrong with that; it is very exhilarating...but also completely terrifying.  Leaving high school mattered - it meant leaving a part of my childhood and comfort zone behind.  But if I didn't have the childhood and experiences I did, I wouldn't have the capacity or the will to accept things different than myself.  I am thankful that I was raised to be respectful and open-minded, but also to stay true to myself and my beliefs.

I don't really know the purpose for writing this blog, other than to tell you that just in the past six months, I have learned and grown more than I ever have.  I learned that the only constant in life is change, which is beautiful and exhilarating and terrifying and sad.  But how boring life would be without all of those emotions.