I am sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been busy laying in a hammock all summer. In fact, that is what I am doing currently. I have been ridiculously lazy this summer. I have done a few crafts and counseled at camp, but over all, I have done nothing but lay around. On some level, I needed the relaxation. I had a hard spring semester, and the fall isn't going to be any easier. However, I learned that too much of a good thing can be bad. For me, that meant lying on the couch.
I say all this for a reason. I worked out some over the summer - mostly strength training. Tuesday I decided I needed to get back into cardio. This was a bad decision. My legs are still sore. I worked out with Kenny Burner and the soccer team for a little bit. For those of you that know Kenny, you know that he does nothing halfway, especially workouts. It was then that I realized I am so out of shape compared to how I was during soccer season. Anyway, we did some jump ropes and wall squats - nothing too terrible. After that, I went for a run. Keep in mind I haven't run in probably a month, maybe more. And in that month, I have done very little cardio. Being as smart as I am, I also decide bleachers are a great way to jump back into cardio. News flash - it's not. I hated bleachers when I was in shape. To try to do them now was torture. I was gasping for air after the first set; it was really a pitiful sight.
I know it sounds like I'm rambling about my fitness, or lack thereof, but I have a point. I learned something this summer. 1. I hate cardio, and 2. your character is defined by how you act when people aren't looking.
All of my life, I have had someone pushing me to do better. In school, it was my classmates. In soccer, it was my teammates. At home, it was my family. We all challenged one another to be our very best. Now that I'm in college, it's just me. My classmates don't care if I fail a test, I no longer have teammates, and I don't come home to Valley View at the end of a long day. I had to learn self-discipline in every walk of life. From school to reading my Bible.
I realized this with each step I took on the bleachers in the hot sun on Tuesday. I could stop right then and no one would notice. I could stop the pain in my legs, the burning in my lungs. I could just...stop. But something inside pushed me to keep going - I was determined to conquer the bleachers again. There was no trophy or crowd cheering me on at the finish line. It was just me and the setting sun.
Life is full of moments like this. There is no glory in late night studying in a dorm room. There is no great reward in waking up at 6 to hit the gym. There is not a trophy for kindness. You don't get a pat on the back every time you say "please" and "thank you." Sometimes, it feels like there is no good reason to continue working hard and being kind. You do these things and you get nothing in return.
Or so it seems.
All of these moments that seem pointless are what determine your character. Doing one more set of bleachers when you want to pass out determines your character. Studying one more hour when you want to do nothing but sleep determines your character. Being nice to the waitress when she spills your drink all over you determines your character.
Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Kindness, determination, and hard work may not have any immediate reward on Earth, but God promises that He will give us so much more in Heaven.
In the same way, if you continue to work hard - to complete the bleachers - and still feel downtrodden, remember Colossians 3:23: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." In those times when you feel no one is watching, or that no one will notice if you stop, God is with you. He sees your weariness, but He will give you strength to carry on. He sees your heart like no one else, and He knows you are capable of so much more.
